Why You Should Never Expect A Clean House

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When you are a stay at home parent, you are assumed to be the one that cleans up the house right? I mean we are the ones that can go days, even weeks without ever stepping outside of it! Plus, what else do we do other than…

Take care of an infant all day, let the dog out, pick the kids up from school, make them do their homework, let the dog out, make breakfast lunch and dinner, feed the dog, take the dog for a walk, make sure the teen is home before curfew, monitor her social media, get to know what friends are the “bad eggs”, listen to stories about ladybugs on repeat, schedule doctors appointments, talk to teachers/EA’s/Bis, make sure everyone gets to all of their activities on time, replace the toilet roll, ensure we have shampoo, conditioner, soap, lotion etc, set up playdates, change diapers, let the dog out, bathe the children, do the bedtime routine, etc.

Lets not leave out the huge responsibility of worrying about and carrying the entire emotional load of every person in this house hold.

No totally we should add a sparkling clean house on top of all of that.

To all of those that don’t understand why we don’t have time to keep everything perfect let me give you a quick numbers breakdown to educate you on the ginormous workload that is cleaning up after your family.
We have eight people living in our house….Eight…Two of those bodies belong to my In-laws so lets just minus out their mess because that is well managed and tucked away in the suite in the basement.

That still leaves six bodies wearing 4-5 pieces of clothing, thats 30 pieces in total every day. We are daily showerers and sometimes my eldest will have three! So we are using 4-8 towels, every single day. Six bodies eating a combined 20 meals plus snacks, that’s 20 plates and bowls, 40 +pieces of cutlery, 10+ cups for water (because god forbid you use the same cup twice.) Lets not forget the wine glass and bottle of wine that you know imma use after a long day of cleaning up all this crap.
Three of those six play with, and don’t clean up, toys, crayons, playdoh, etc…Every single day. One of them goes through about 4-6 diapers every day. Every one of them tracks dirt, sand, leaves, just nature in general into the house beside their three pairs of shoes that they never put away and their four coats that lay in the middle of the living room floor.

Then there is the man child that thinks the world is his laundry basket/garbage can. I mean after a long hard ten hours of work (he does work super hard) why should an adult man clean up after himself? That’s crazy talk.
Oh did I mention we also have a dog? The dog that will drag every single toy, sock, pair of underwear you put away all around the house if its in a reachable space. A dog who also brings in sticks and the like and chews them into a million different pieces.
And that’s just the clutter people! Then you have to take into account all of the deep cleaning that is expected. Cleaning tubs, toilets, sinks, floors, ovens, fridges, windows, vacuuming carpets, sanitizing toys. The list goes on.
I was so fed up with doing everything I started delegating so that I didn’t lose my mind.
These jobs are as listed.
14 year old– cleans the kitchen every day, cleans her bathroom once a week, watches the younger kids from time to time
Hubby – Takes out garbage and recycling, does his own laundry, takes kids to school
5 year old– Tidys her room, feeds and waters the dog, helps tidy toys.
11 year old – She is special needs so I get her to assist me with putting away laundry.
This list seems reasonable does it not? Having all of those small things done should lessen my load enough that I can get in more regular cleaning so that our house doesn’t look like some kind of pediatric crack shack.

Well sure, but now its MY JOB to remind them 200x a day that they need to do this small chore. And I am somehow the bad guy for saying

“Babe could you please take a break from your American Pickers marathon and take out the three large overfilled garbage bags that have been hanging willy nilly from every cupboard in our kitchen for the last two weeks? Our house is starting to smell like a fish market on the hottest day of the year.”
Or
“Please clean up the layer of sludge that has formed on your bathroom sink from all of the soap that somehow misses all of your hands every day.” 😊

SO please tell me again how you can possibly expect a stay at home parent to have it all together and have a clean house?

Also, the next time you come into my house and it doesn’t smell like diapers that have been set on fire, I expect a damn round of applause.
/endrant

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