Remember packing for vacation before kids?
A few sundresses, shorts and cute flowy tops, a couple sexy date night dresses for the romantic dinners with your spouse, a handful of thongs and boy shorts, and don’t forget that skimpy bathing suit that looks damn fine on your 19-21-year-old pre-baby body.
Yeah, those were the days, sigh.
Fast-Forward a decade and now I’m pulling my hair out in front of three suitcases, trying to get them all underweight by transferring shit from one to the other. They are all stuffed full of three times the number of outfits and ten times the amount of underwear needed for each person.
Of course they will wear six sets of sandals on our seven day vacation! Its not like they wear the same damn shoes every single day at home regardless if its snowing, or 40° and sunny.
Now that you’re bringing a bunch of little mess makers, you must prepare for all sorts of rips, tears, and the inevitable food/drink/bodily fluid blow out that will no doubt stain ¾ of the adorable rompers, dresses, and little boy button downs in the first few days.
Diapers, regular and swim type, are shoved into every available space. Rolled up inside the sandcastle buckets, wrapped around goggles, shovels, and sand shoes, strategically placed inside those cute little fedoras I packed, and my son refused to wear because apparently, he hates fashion.
Not to mention that when you pack for vacation with your whole family you basically must bring an entire pharmacy. We got Gravol, Children’s Tylenol, Benadryl, baby Oragel, Pepto Bismol, Imodium, Advil, creams, powders, Band-Aids, Hydrolyte, Emergen-C, after sun, 60spf sunscreen x5. You needed it, we had it.
Don’t even get me started on the carry ons
My six-year old’s Elsa and Anna school bag was shoved so full of Pringles, Jube Jubes, and travel games she could barely stand straight.
Why I thought it necessary to bring two changes of clothes, books I knew I wouldn’t read, ten pairs of sunglasses, and three decks of cards on the plane I’ll never know.
Hubby and I spent most of the plane ride trading our sticky slobber covered one-year old back and forth, whilst trying to enjoy a movie sharing one pair of $9 ear buds we bought on the plane because of course I forgot that. The expensive ass ear buds that would fall out of our ears every time one of us moved to sip our tiny airplane rum and cokes. All the while, playing mediator to our 14-year-old and 6-year-old sitting alone yelling about who’s turn it was to sit next to the window.
After all this packing stress I’m happy to say, everyone lived, everyone loved, everyone didn’t even use half the shit I packed for them. And I only managed to forget to pack one thing. Shampoo.