Overwhelming and rewarding are the best words to describe the life of a mother. Along with exciting, lonely, boastful, wine filled, boring, busy, and many many more. When she became a mother to a beautiful daughter it was the most intense feeling of love and joy she had ever experienced, followed closely by panic and fear. This small person now relies on her guidance, structure, affection and patience to get her ready to flourish in a life that she’s not sure she’s even flourishing in. It was them against the world and they fought hard through the first three years. They struggled and succeeded together, through tears and laughter, temper tantrums and tickle fights they were the dream team.
Then he came along. This blonde haired, blue eyed, charming, dry humored widow swept her off her feet. After months of passion, excitement and many long intimate discussion about their lives he took in her daughter as if he had been there from the start. He brought with him two daughters of his own that she fell madly in love with as fast as she had with him. Along came their son to finish off their family in a natural harmony.
While leaving work to stay home with the kids wasn’t in her life plan she decided to take her leave and try to be as involved with the kids as possible. With one teenager grieving her mother, an autistic child with no way to communicate, a single child turned middle child within one year and a brand new baby, she struggled to adapt to handling all four and the baggage that they all come with. Long nights spent jumping wearily to every whimper or cry. Laundry and housework filled the minutes between playtime and homework with the children, she rarely had time to shower or even think. Breakfast, lunch and dinners, and every snack in between were homemade, with love of course.
She was everyone’s rock even though she felt like she could crumble at any moment. She was the center of their worlds but was often invisible. She predicted the needs of everyone around her, and her needs took a backseat, like most mothers’ do. Every ounce of energy she had was used to hold all of their worries on her shoulders with barely a moments break to breathe. She was drowning in this huge responsibility and often thought she was doing everything wrong. Self-doubt cowered over her daily tasks until the weight of it started to crush her. Although the people around her praised her and admired her huge undertaking she still felt guilty being this submerged in the day to day pressures that were seemingly growing with each passing moment.
Alas, that pressure slowly dissipates in the moments when the children are together playing, and laughing. When their bond grows visibly with each day. Watching their life goals being met and seeing milestones pass. Its times like this that she realizes it doesn’t matter if she is perfect, if her family is perfect, if her marriage is perfect. What matters is her hard work, and stoicism faded the line between two previously separated clans and transformed them into one seamless evolving blended family. She is a family blender.